The Price of Having It All
by Lady Arabella Malfoy
Summary: Juilliard is not a place for lighthearted. Ryan and Kelsi find themselves fulfilling their own dreams but should they have the same dream? Art by Vectorios2016.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: High School Musical has a special part in my heart. I was actually too old for it when it came out, but I love Disney and I love musicals, so of course I watched all them in succession one day some years ago. I returned to the trilogy when I was depressed and needed a musical pick me up. I've never imagined I will be writing a fanfic based on the franchise. One day I jumped to HSM fanfiction and ideas started swirling and one just didn't let up. So despite my other 'serious' writing commitments, I allowed myself to indulge (after this on I am starting a Descendants Huma fic, another indulgence). Of course, I thought I would be a short piece, but I just can't anything less than 10000 words. The plot is pretty straightforward, otherwise it would've been another 20000 long fic.**

**The plot has some technical stuff which I did check out to a degree, but even if they are not 100% accurate, don't fixate much on it.**

**Feedback is welcome as always.**

**The Price of Having It All**

**By Lady Arabella Malfoy**

**Chapter One: The Steps for the Female Lead**

He did not leave her. He couldn't since they were not together in the first place. Yes, they created a musical together, spent the prom together, got into the Juilliard after graduation, but Kelsi Nielson had no social or physical claim on Ryan Evans, so when the school started and Ryan didn't acknowledge her presence at all, she was not upset. Much.

She was well aware that Ryan Evans was born to be a star and without his twin sister hogging all the attention, Juilliard was the stage where Ryan could bask in the well deserved glory. They had different majors, so their paths did not cross, but, as in every school, the gossip circulated far and wide. Kelsi knew that Ryan was very popular among his classmates socially _and _romantically. Many girls _and _guys expressed interest in him. Not that she listened to the gossip with any particular interest. Was Ryan dating anyone? Why not, he had all the right to do so. Probably someone as fabulous as he, while Kelsi was born to remain behind the piano, in the shadows of the other stars.

But she had a social life of her own too. Her classmates treated her rather coldly at first, hearing about her full scholarship. She was asked what she had done to deserve it. When she replied that she made a musical, eye rolls and scoffs were the most common reactions, because "Well, there are a lot of people involved in a musical!". Kelsi did not clarify that she wrote lyrics, music and orchestrations all by herself, conducted the whole thing and even danced in the production. Still she made friends with the composers with similar tastes in music, her dorm roommate was very tolerable (ironically from the dance department, who was the one, who supplied Kelsi, who had no interest in it, with the gossip about the going ons there).

Kelsi was not disappointed in loosing connection to Ryan Evans. They were not in high school anymore. It was time for them to live their own lives and follow their own dreams. And if they had to do it separately then so be it. Because Kelsi most definitely did not feel that something was missing from her music or her heart.

….

Kelsi survived the first year rather well. The studies were tough, exams even more so, but she did okay. She wrote what was requested, but didn't compose much for her own enjoyment. Not that she wasn't inspired, but… Real life was not as full of innocent wonder anymore.

And then everything changed…

Kelsi was half through her assignment on composing variations in different styles on the given eight bars, when her roommate's head popped up from behind the door to her practice room.

"Do you have a minute, Kelsi?"

"Nope, I really need to finished homework, Beth. Is it urgent?" Kelsi asked in return, not raising her head from the sheet music.

"You have a guy asking for you. Does that classify?" Beth said with a clear undertone of 'you are telling me all about it later, girl'.

_That_ made Kelsi look from behind the music rack. Not that Kelsi was as invisible to male attention as she was in high school, she even went on a couple of dates with a couple of guys, but it didn't work out. For some reason. "Who in the world?"

And then Beth opened the door. And Kelsi's world turned upside down. Because behind the door stood the boy, well, the man, she hoped she had forgotten. The blond hair was shorter, he moved with even more taut grace of the dancer, but even without the fedora, Kelsi would've known that Ryan Evans was standing in her practice room. _And _Beth seemed to conviniently vanish.

The next couple of bars were filled with very long awkward pauses. Kelsi thought it being ridiculous and in an uncharacteristic fit (at least Ryan's gob smacked reaction told Kelsi it was on her part), she cut to the chase with a curt address, "What are you doing here, Ryan?"

"I… I… came… I…" the star dancer stuttered, clearly not ready for the hostile reception.

Kelsi couldn't refrain from smiling at the always confident Ryan (at least when he was not around Sharpay) not to be able to string a sentence together. But then he smiled in return, and Kelsi felt the long forgotten tightness in her chest that she always experienced while being around Ryan Evans. "So why are you here?" she asked again, but much gentler this time.

"I… I came to apologize."

"Whatever for? We haven't talked in a year and a half."

"Exactly. I am sorry for losing touch with you, Kels."

Kelsi melted just a bit, hearing the nickname, but held herself together. "We went to one high school, it doesn't make us attached at the hip. You moved on, I did too. No hard feelings."

"You sure? Because that doesn't look like it."

Before Kelsi could make any comprehensible connection between Ryan's words and her supposed hard feelings, he put several pages of sheet music onto the music rack. The composer from the two, instantly moved to check the music presented to her and recognized it as her own piece, she made when the composition class was assigned to write something that could be used for the dancers in their choreography class. She wrote the piece with no specific idea, just wrote what she felt at that moment. Kelsi highly doubted, her piece would be chosen by anyone for their performance.

The piece was called "Looking at the shooting star". Kelsi wrote it as a melancholic piece about someone, who gazes at the shooting star, but doesn't make a wish on it, because he believes it is pointless.

"How did you even know it was mine? The submissions were anonymous."

"I know your music, Kels. I recognized it after twenty bars. It took me so long, because it is so different from before. Why so gloomy and hopeless?"

Kelsi was peeved. Who did he think he was?! "So my music can't change?! I can't mature? I can't only write romantic songs for high schoolers?! On the other note, what does your absence in my life has to do with anything?! Maybe I was feeling philosophical or heart broken or any other number of things! But I was certainly not thinking about _you, _Ryan Evans! Haven't thought for months!" The last sentence was an outright lie, but he didn't need to know that.

Ryan was again taken aback by the onslaught of emotion from Kelsi, who was timid and usually caved in case of any opposition. But the operational word being _was._ She was still protective of her music and now had the backbone to defend it. She looked _glorious_ doing it, so much raw energy that usually found its way into Kelsi's music, but not this time. "Of course, you can, Kels. And you did. This piece is magnificent. The flow of the melody to express the pain and sadness… That's why I fought with another dancer to get it for my performance."

"You _fought_? Like physically?" Kelsi tried to imagine such a scene, but could only laugh at the images in her mind.

"Yeah, that's why the half of the last page is missing."

"Please, tell me, you didn't come here only to get the music for your number." Now that surely would be a page from Sharpay book.

"Of course not, Kels. When we were played the pieces to choose from, we were supposed to hear all of them and then make choices etc, but when I recognized your piece, I instantly yelled that it was mine which was obviously against the rules. I made quite a scene, but I didn't care, because it was _your _music. I couldn't allow anybody else to dance to it. And I know, I have no right to think so, especially after I treated you the way I did, but… I know, you didn't write it for me, but… God, it is so beautiful, it resonates with me…"

"But it isn't anything like you, Ryan. You said it yourself, it is all sad and moppy."

"It isn't, Kelsi. It is your soul in there."

"But it is so _slow_."

"I _can _dance slowly too. Can you tell me what inspired this piece?"

"Isn't it cheating? Shouldn't you interpret the music yourself for your choreography?"

"It's not for class. I don't want for you feel sad. I feel so guilty for cutting you off like that. And whatever made you write this piece… I could've done something… Brought you tea or… I don't know. I am not actually that good at such things, but I don't want us to part again. We can hang out and-"

"Ryan, you know very well, it is impossible for me to be a part of your current circle. I have nothing in common with those dancers."

"But we are all artists, okay, let's face it, only _some _of them are, others just want to see their names in shining letters."

"And _you _don't?"

"I wouldn't mind, of course. But right now, having the opportunity to dance to your music is much more important."

"It is just a composition I wrote for an assignment, it isn't like it was written specifically for you."

"I wouldn't mind that either. So… do I have your permission?"

"For what?"

"To use "Looking at the shooting star" for my dance class."

"You don't need to. Any student is allowed to chose any piece and do whatever with it."

"Yes, but this piece is special. As everything you do."

Kelsi tried to find the manipulative hypocrisy in Ryan's words, but there was none. Or she really wanted to believe in his sincerity, believe he found her music special, if only her _music_.

"I will e-mail you the whole file, but you better make the dance as magnificent."

"It can't be anything less."

Two weeks later Beth was asked to film Ryan's dance (which was pretty much illegal), but Ryan did give his permission to send the file to Kelsi (which raised Beth's eyebrows quite high), so the female dancer acquiesced. She filmed the two minute dance with her phone and sent the file as promised. And found her roommate in tears upon returning after her classes.

"Wha-a-a-t's going on, girl?"

"It's so… so… so beautiful," Kelsi managed between hick ups.

Beth looked at Kelsi's laptop screen, seeing the frozen image of the final move of Ryan Evan's dance. Beth didn't have any special opinion about the guy. He was a good dancer and they were paired up a couple of times, but she was not part of his crowd. "So what's with the filming and such?"

"It's mine… It's my music."

"You wrote about suicide?! Should I… you know, call someone?" Beth asked, shocked _and _concerned. Her roommate was not particularly emotional, on the quiet side mostly, but she still didn't seem suicidal. But it could be all a mask, since composers do tend to express their feelings through their music and not words, you know, like _common _people.

Kelsi chuckled and shook her head. "Of course not. I wrote about hopelessness with no way out and Ryan turned it on its head."

"Well yeah, his dance was about a man, who was to commit suicide and then sees a shooting star and stops himself. Too dramatic for me, but the teacher liked it."

"And he hasn't changed a single note. Absolutely nothing."

Beth didn't know what was so amazing about the latter, but her roommate was already scribing notes like crazy, which was quite a rare sight, even if she had to compose something weekly, but rarely with such enthusiasm. Was she inspired by the macabre dance? Those composers were weird.

…

Kelsi expressed her appreciation to Ryan about treating her music with proper respect and the dance itself, of course, through another e-mail, which somehow kick started a chain of semi regular mails about anything and everything. Sometimes Ryan showed up at her practice room with a cup of tea to bounce off some ideas for his choreography,  
Kelsi sometimes did the same. They never met socially maintaining a completely platonic relationship that did not go beyond Juilliard.

Ryan was casually dating a girl from the singing department. Kelsi also started going out with a guy from her department. Everything seemed to be just peachy. But the problem with the artistic types is that they want to be inspired, need someone to burn their nerve endings so the passion could overflow into their art. Unfortunately neither Ryan nor Kelsi felt that from their respective dating partners.

It became a tradition for Ryan to appear in Kelsi's practice room just to listen to her music. One evening he posed to her a rather strange request – every pair in his class had to present a dance of lovers on any topic they wanted, could be a fight, jealous rage, romantic interlude, so could Kelsi write something for him and his partner, because neither of them could agree on any musical piece since they just couldn't find the right one.

Kelsi took the request in stride. She hasn't written any love songs or compositions since, well, Troy and Gabriella. It could be an interesting challenge. But a love song for _Ryan_? Not that she was in any way jealous or had any romantic feelings for him. Not. At. All. And she was going to prove it by composing a romantic song for him and his partner.

When Ryan did not provide any topics since he had zero ideas, Kelsi asked him to bring his partner so they could discuss and brainstorm. Alicia, as Ryan's partner was called, was of course a gorgeous tall bronze skinned woman, whose main objective was to dazzle the teachers and not to express real love on stage, but she was a great dancer. The dazzling part consisted of the theme that either nobody else had ever done or so drastic, nobody even thought of it. After hours of suggestions, they settled on a theme of a soldier returning to his family from the war after he was pronounced lost in action. The aim was to make it an angsty and romantic piece with extremely negative and positive going back and forth. A challenge Kelsi managed to tackle. She made a demo for Alicia and Ryan to rehearse and then joined them after the choreography was done.

The first time Kelsi saw the dance… she was mesmerized… and angry. Angry at herself for thoughts of regret that Ryan's hands would never touch her like that, that she would never dance with him in such a way. She had no right to such thoughts since in no way she could ever compete with women around Ryan, beautiful, tall, able to mold their bodies in whatever way he led them. During the rehearsals, Ryan joined Kelsi at the piano a couple of times to make minor suggestions for some movements to go smother or add more sound dynamic, those were all accepted. Kelsi accidently caught Alicia's glance at such a moment and was surprised to see how surprised the other girl was. It seemed Ryan's classmates were not aware of his composing or any other musical talents.

The dance was called "Coming home late" and was a great success. Kelsi performed the score herself which was almost unprecedented since nobody used original music for mere dance assignment. She felt rather odd in the whole situation, because she was brought into the dance room by Ryan and sat down into the corner after informing their teacher, who she was. It was the first time when she saw Ryan's new world up close. Yes, she saw the last year's production where Ryan managed to get a part of a back dancer (even if first years never got in), but this was the back of the back stage of which she was not a part of. At least until taking her place behind the piano to accompany Ryan and Alicia's dance.

After their performance, Ryan extended his hand towards her in a manner that usually invites a bow and so she did even if a little awkwardly.

At the end of the second year, one of the productions was a musical and, obviously, works of second years were not considered, but Kelsi found herself involved by accident – they needed an assistant conductor and she was the only from her class with real experience. There were other assistants of course, but it wasn't enough. And so Kelsi was in the orchestra pit again and Ryan was on the stage again even if in a minor role. It was Heaven.

At the end of the second year, Kelsi broke up with her boyfriend citing big workload and not wanting to be unfair to him since she was spending more time behind the piano than with him. What she didn't tell him was that she had finally accepted her loss in fighting with her feelings for Ryan Evans. She was no longer in denial, but she knew, he would never see a woman in her, only a composer. At least, she had a whole stack of unrequited love songs in her drawer if an assignment called for such. Denial over, now she had to move on. Not that she managed the first time…

…

The third year began with triple workload. They were going into orchestrations and conduction plus everything else. On the plus side, they worked with musicians that allowed Kelsi to expend her social circle considerably. There was not much time to socialize out of rehearsals, but Kelsi was happy since she was having the time of her life regardless.

As far as Kelsi heard, Ryan managed to get into a small musical production during the summer and then another one, balancing theater and school at the same time. Thus bringing their tradition to meet up in each other practice space to halt, because there was no time to even text each other, not to mention write meaningful messages on social media.

And then their world was turned upside yet again, because life without drama is never enough…

Kelsi was typing like crazy with an assignment deadline only two hours away, when she heard Beth coming in. Kelsi didn't pay her any mind, since she had to finish her paper a.s.a.p!

"Kelsi…"

"Not now, Beth!"

"It's Ryan…"

At that Kelsi swiftly turned around, unable to control her reaction, and then she couldn't control the panic that gripped her heart when she saw how deathly pale Beth was. "What happened?" she managed to squeeze out of her throat that was parch dry.

"There was an unfixed cable on the stage… And he fell… into the orchestra pit."

"What hospital?" Kelsi threw, already grabbing her jacket, completely forgetting about the assignment and pretty much everything under the Sun.

"Lenox Hill, I think."

Kelsi was out the door even before Beth finished her sentence.

…

Kelsi was lucky enough not to need to visit any hospital during her stay in New York, so she was completely overwhelmed the moment she stepped into the huge lobby with hundreds of people in white robes and without, going back and forth and beeps of all kinds going off every three seconds. What was she even doing here? Ryan's parents must've already been informed. It is doubtful, they were already here even with a personal jet, so Ryan must be all alone. Was he conscious? Or not? Were his injuries serious? What happened?!

Does she have any right to even ask those questions if she gets enough courage to approach a rather scary looking nurse at the reception? She is not his next of kin. Or fiancée. Not even his girlfriend. A concerned friend? Yes, that will work marvelously.

Still she pushed through her fear and neared the reception desk.

"Excuse me… Was Ryan Evans brought here by ambulance?"

"We cannot reveal such information," was a snappy reply.

"He was in an accident today. I was away… I am… his girlfriend. If only you could tell me his condition?" Kelsi hoped against hope that the matron would buy her lies. And Ryan would forgive her for them.

As it turned out, matron was a romantic type, so she deemed Kelsi worthy sharing private information with. "He is conscious, his parents are not here yet, but his injuries are minor, so he would be discharged tomorrow if not earlier."

"Can I… see him?"

"Third floor, room 306."

"Thank you so much!"

Kelsi raced towards the lifts, but couldn't wait and went for the stairs. The room 306 was easy to find too. She rushed inside, but halted on the spot, not wanting to disturb other patients. She found Ryan in the bed closest to the wall with his right leg held up by a sling.

"Hey, Ryan," Kelsi called softly, since his hand was over his face and he seemed to be sleeping.

"Good God," came an angry groan in response.

Ryan clearly didn't want to see her. Swallowing the hurt, Kelsi managed a meekly, "I'll go then," and headed towards the door.

"Sorry, Kels, please don't go."

Kelsi neared the bed and got a general idea why Ryan did not want to see her at that moment. His face was full of evidence that he had been crying. What could possibly cause a grown man to cry?

"Are you okay, Ry?"

"My life is over, Kels."

"Stop overdramatizing. It can't be that bad, the pit is just over nine feet deep."

"Do you think, I will joke about something like this?!"

The anger was back, so Kelsi decided to refrain from lighting up the situation. "So what's the diagnosis?"

"When my leg caught on the cable the tendons in my knee were pulled on so hard that they ruptured. Nine feet was enough."

"Then it isn't broken, that's good, right?"

"This is just so much worse, Kels. It will heal eventually, but I will never be able to dance again. All for nothing. My whole life is a joke!"

"What do you mean for nothing? You will take a sabbatical for rehab and then change majors-"

"Are you listening to yourself?! I was taking dancing lessons since kindergarten! My whole life I was preparing to get into Juilliard and then I got here and what? Blew it! The face of Sharpay when I told them over the video call… She didn't even want to look at me! Because I had taken her place here. She gave up, what she wanted all her life. For _me_. And for Zeke. She decided that I deserved this chance more than her. If I don't dance, I _die_! If I am not a quadruple threat, I won't make it in this business and now I am nothing at all!"

"But you can still choreograph, you always wanted to do that."

"But I will never be on the stage!"

SLAP!

Kelsi looked at her right hand as if it wasn't her own. Had she just…? Yep, Ryan had a red handprint mark on his cheek and looked at her like she had grown another head or two.

Nevertheless she was going to get her point across. "So all those people back stage are not even worth mentioning? The writers, directors, orchestra, technicians, designers, dressers, makeup artists? Composers?! Just some passerbyers since they are not in the projector lights? Is my music worthless to you too?!"

"Of course not," Ryan whispered, looking like a scolded child, which he pretty much was, but he never imagined that it would be meek, small person Kelsi Nielson, who would give him a piece of his mind. He glanced sideways to see if they had disturbed the other patients with their fight, but they were either pretending to not watch the real life drama or openly staring at the young people.

"So what are you going to do, Ryan? And sorry for the slap, it just kinda happened."

"I deserved it, Kels. As to what I am going to do… I have no idea. My musical project is a bust for sure. My parents want to sue Juilliard for negligence, but I just hope I won't be tossed out."

"They can't!"

"I can't remain in the dance program if I can't dance, Kels."

"But you can do so much more! Sing, play the piano, write music…"

"But dance is my essence, it has been a part of me since I could _walk_. To even see somebody else and know that I could dance like that and never be able to… I just don't know how I could live with that."

"But you need to heal first. Are you parents taking you back to Albuquerque for your rehab?"

"I don't want to miss any studies, even if I am unable to move properly. It will just give the school the reason to expel me."

"So your girlfriend will look after you?"

"She broke it off a couple of months back."

That was news to Kelsi. Not that she kept her ear to the ground about Ryan's love life… "If you want… I can help a bit… With chores and stuff."

"I can hire a housekeeper for that. I need someone to keep me sane through all this. You have your school work and other stuff, I can't possibly impose like that."

"The flat you rent… Is there a piano there?"

"Of course." It was said in a tone that deemed any flats bear of instrument uninhabitable.

"So if you don't mind hearing me tinkering at all hours, I can manage. At least try to for a couple of months."

And that was how Kelsi moved into Ryan's rented flat. Her parents were obviously not thrilled by the news. Even if after Kelsi's reassurance that nothing untoward was going to happen. Her mother was particularly skeptical, but Kelsi insisted on going through it even without their permission since her friend needed help and moral support so it would be inhuman to refuse! To Kelsi's passionate tirade her mother responded only with "A friend, eh?" with the knowing twinkle in her eyes. Kelsi refused any further comment.

The first few days were the worst. They had a coming male nurse to deal with the morning routine, but Ryan had to stay immobile in his bed for pretty much the whole day and that made him cranky, frustrated and snappy at the only person, who agreed to help him through the nasty ordeal.

Kelsi understood that he didn't want to show his vulnerability to her even if she was surprised that Ryan _had_ such male ego, because he was not being a diva about the whole situation and that was much more expected. After being kicked out from his bedroom for the third time for trying to start a conversation about what he was going through and his designs for the future, Kelsi wordlessly stood up from the chair she usually occupied while at Ryan's bedroom and left for the living room where the piano and she currently resided. To release her own frustration she started playing her favorite songs from classical musicals that always managed to lift her spirits up. During playing the fifth song, she couldn't help but smile at hearing Ryan quietly singing along. Music was always the key to Ryan Evans. Well, to her too, but that was beside the point.

The housekeeper dialed with cooking and cleaning, so Kelsi didn't need to do anything but study and keep Ryan company for about four hours a day. But of course, things couldn't be that simple. Ryan's restless nights were plagued by nightmares of his fall or at least that was what Kelsi managed to press out of him, but she was sure it was much more. The only remedy for Ryan to get to sleep again turned out to be Kelsi's singing, particularly her singing the songs she wrote during high school. She didn't know why the choice was so specific, but maybe bringing up the times of carefree fun of his youth lessened Ryan's fear about his uncertain future. So Ryan's smile during his sleep when she sang "You are the music in me" wasn't about him and her, it was the song. Nothing more.

Being up at odd hours, singing and continuously playing music that had no connection to her studies was taking a tall on those studies. Her classmates started mentioning that she was looking pretty much like a zombie, but she brushed off all concerns and pushed through. Which was obviously not a good idea, since one Friday she just collapsed after getting home (a.k.a. Ryan's flat) after classes. At this point, Ryan just shoved sleeping pills into her hand and sent her to sleep, muttering about buying another proper bed.

Kelsi was supposed to sleep for at least twelve hours, but by some protective instinct woke up, hearing Ryan throwing up in the kitchen early next morning. He insisted on clearing up after himself and not for Kelsi to worry about a thing, it must've been just a food poisoning. Which Kelsi doubted since their housekeeper was professional enough not to make food from spoiled or otherwise unhealthy ingredients. But she let it slide, concerned about hurting Ryan's ego once again, and because he indeed could manage the cleaning by himself. The ingrained balance and coordination of a dancer allowed Ryan to walk on clutches with no problems at all.

The food poisoning diagnosis flew out of the window when Ryan kept throwing up for the next three days with no food remaining in his stomach at all. The doctors said that he was perfectly fine and it must've been stress induced that was not far from the truth, but Kelsi thought otherwise. She lived with the man for God's sake and him being suddenly sick during one of their fun filled music sessions at the piano, gave her a very crazy idea about the reason behind Ryan's condition.

"Ryan, when did you last talk to Sharpay?"

Ryan heaved a couple a times, trying to get his breathing under control after puking all over their bathroom sink (since he couldn't kneel beside the toilet, it was the next best choice). "Since… that day, why?"

"You are fraternal, but you two always had a very close connection."

"You mean," another deep breath, "this is hers? That she is sick and I am somehow feeling the effects?"

"It won't be a big problem just to call and check, right?"

Kelsi stepped away from the bathroom door to allow Ryan to leave, not even attempting to help him, because, first of all, he could do it on his own just fine, secondly, she supported his wish to live independently even with his current handicap the same way as she supported his separation from Sharpay. But she still was his twin sister.

Ryan let himself down onto the chair which was far less comfortable than the sofa that served as Kelsi's bed, but was it chivalry or awkwardness that did not allow him just to sit there was not clear to Kelsi.

"It won't be as easy as before, Kels. Dear sister hates my guts right now. I doubt she will even pick up my call."

"But she is still dear to _you_. You can at least try."

Kelsi watched as Ryan tentatively took out his phone and pressed 2 for speed dial. She wondered who was behind number 1 (probably his doctor). Kelsi was also astonished when Ryan put the call on speaker. Was he that afraid of speaking to his twin with whom he was inseparable for almost twenty years?

Despite Ryan's fears, the call _was _picked up, but the Sharpay they heard on the other end didn't sound like her at all. The "Yeah?" sounded tired and weak and not in the least like the diva they liked to hate.

"Hi, sis. How are you doing?"

Kelsi found the look of concern on Ryan's face utterly adorable. He was in pain just a minute ago, but was all worried about his sister, who could possibly be causing it in the first place.

"I am fine."

Kelsi didn't need to be Sharpay's twin or even look at her to know that the other girl was lying. Ryan wasn't fooled even more so.

"You can't lie to me, sis. What is going on? Have you been sick lately?" Ryan asked with force that made Kelsi jump. She never heard Ryan talk to Sharpay in such a demanding tone. He must be either masking his great worry with anger or finally separating himself from his twin completely. Kelsi didn't know what was better, she didn't want the twins' relationship to be destroyed.

"Of course not. What gave you the idea?"

"Me. Retching my guts out for almost the whole week. So I have the right to know if anything is going on."

"_Nothing _is going on, Ry." And here Kelsi heard the Sharpay she was afraid of in high school.

But she wasn't afraid of her anymore, so she decided to cut to the chase before the twins started to play the game of 'who could bullshit the other more'. "Are you pregnant, Sharpay?"

"WHAT?!" And as twins are, they responded simultaneously and almost in the same pitch.

"It is a yes or no question."

There was a long silence on the other end of the line.

Which was broken by Ryan, because he obviously couldn't survive the suspense. "Oh for the love of God, it is not like you are dying, Shar!"

"_You _are the one to talk Ry! At least your condition is temporary! My career is over before it even began!"

"My condition is most definitely _not _temporary! And _I _had absolutely no choice in the matter! It is your choice to keep the child or not and how to bring him or her up. It is always your own choice how to be a mother and have a career at the same time. I had _no damn _choice! So are you pregnant or not?!"

"Yeah…"

"It's Zeke's?"

"Yeah…"

"He is happy about the baby?"

"Yeah…"

"And you?"

"I don't _know_! I am only twenty two! I am not even out of college yet!"

"It's going to be okay, Shar. _You_ can do it. Just if it's a boy and even if it a girl… don't overpink it."

"You can do it too, Ry. I believe in you. Like always. And I am sorry if I was a… bitch about it before. I just found out a day before your… accident and hoped that at least one of us would make it, but then… But you will, I am sure of it. You are switching majors?"

"I am. Take good care of yourself, sis. Morning sickness is for how long? So I could be prepared, you know."

"Another week maybe? But how is it possible? We are not identical twins!"

"Maybe I love you too much, Shar. Take care."

"Congratulations, Sharpay," Kelsi managed to squeeze in, before Ryan disconnected. It was always a shock to her to see the love Ryan had for his sister. Was it ever possible for him to look at her with at least an iota of that feeling? "So… how does it feel to know that you are gonna be an uncle?"

"Terrifying, Kels. Absolutely terrifying. She wasn't keeping it from me because she was ashamed of giving up her acting career like that. Even if she can have it with a kid too. She didn't want to hurt me even more after… you know. Zeke is too good to her, in a couple of years I won't recognize my own twin, she will be all sweet and motherly."

"But it is not a bad thing, right?" Ryan couldn't possible want Sharpay to remain as sharp as her name implies, could he?

"Of course not, Kels. They are happy. And now they are going to have a baby. I suppose, they are going to get married at some point if my parents have any say about it. They are rather traditional in that regard."

The conversation turned to a rather tense topic (so Ryan's parents didn't find them living together untraditional, or?), so Kelsi decided to return to the safe grounds. "So what major are you switching to?"

"Juilliard allowed me to stay on even if without scholarship. After some consideration I chose Music Production. I hooked up with one guy from there and he said I had good enough musical hearing for that and it is like writing music, but not from scratch, because I am aware that I am not good at that-"

But Kelsi didn't hear much else. Ryan was going to be in the same department as her! Obviously they won't share classes because he will start from the beginning, but they could actually work together in the future! If Ryan had become a professional dancer, the chances of them working on the same production were one in thousands. But if he works in the same field… Wait a minute…

"Ryan… When you say 'hooked up', you mean, what exactly?" Kelsi asked, hoping that her phrasing was delicate enough.

Ryan chucked, his expression full of mirth for the first time since his fall. "Oh the look on your face, Kels! I just meant that we hang out at some parties and such. I am _not _gay _or _bisexual. Just an ordinary man. It is not such a rarity among… well…"

"You will always be a dancer, Ry. Even if only in your soul. And you will never be ordinary, Ryan Evans."

With that declaration Kelsi hightailed to make a snack in the kitchen so not to make the situation any more strained. Why did she even say that?..

…

Luckily for Sharpay and thus for Ryan, the morning sickness ended in a couple of days, so Ryan felt strong enough to do more than just move from chair to bed and back and be taken to doctor's appointments. Kelsi didn't know how to feel about that. Of course, she was happy that Ryan was getting better, but the healthier he was becoming, the closer came the day, she will return to her dorm and disappear from Ryan's life once again. But what did she expect to happen anyway? That Ryan would fall for her impressed by her domestic and care giving skills? Yeah, Ryan was not the type to value that in a woman. One look at the girls he dated in these three years… They were a complete opposite of her. So if she was friend-zoned, she could live with that, right?

One day Kelsi discovered another passion that she shared with Ryan – cooking. Well, they didn't exactly share it, because Ryan had no cooking skills at all and asked Kelsi to teach him so he could do something while she was in school to somehow thank her for all she did. _And _to be able not to rely on the housekeeper all the time. So Kelsi started with some basic dishes like omelets and pasta and cooking together turned into the same enjoyable past time as playing duets on the piano.

The weeks turned into months. Ryan's cast was removed and he started physical therapy to regain the use of his right leg for walking but not for dancing. It seemed that he came to terms with never having a career in dancing and delved deep into the world of music production. Kelsi could only be happy for her friend, but the feeling was bittersweet, because Ryan won't need her soon. She better finish his present sooner than she planned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: The Steps for the Male Lead**

It was March when Ryan was declared completely healthy even if he had to do regular checkups until the end of the year. So Kelsi presented him with a shoe box which did not contain shoes but sheets of paper with the title page, saying "Reaching for the stars".

"What's this, Kels?"

"A little present for you to celebrate your recovery, Ry."

"Well, thank you, but shouldn't I be the one to give you something for all the headache I caused you?"

"No, you don't. So I will get my things together and will be out of your hair-"

"What are you on about, Kels?!"

"But you don't need my help anymore. Why should I stay here?"

"You don't want to?"

"You _want _me to stay?"

"Of course, I do. We have so much fun together."

"We can hang out without living together, Ryan. Not to mention, don't you consider such co-habitation strange? What if you want to… you know?"

"I want to what?"

"You know, bring some girl over."

"As if I care about such things right now," Ryan said dismissively, but why did Kelsi flinch as if slapped? "Please, stay."

"I need to think about it. I will tell you after I get back from classes."

Ryan followed Kelsi with a glance full of confusion and concern. Why did she find his proposition so off putting? Has he somehow offended her? But he was a perfect gentleman and they did have such wonderful time together… As if they were in their own world, just like in high school. And what was in the box?

Ryan went to his bedroom, took the papers out, removed the title page, read the first line and stilled. Because the first line was: "I got a call back?! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

He greedily turned page after page of text and sheet music that depicted Ryan's years in school from the perspective of Kelsi's and his. There was the song he and Sharpay sang for the audition for the musical, but the distress Kelsi felt about destroying her song like that was weaved into their performance. Then there were the Lava Springs with them sharing the piano for the first time. And Ryan's acting out against his overbearing twin sister.

And then there was the final year and the spring musicale. Ryan felt his eyes water at reading the singing and dancing number placed in the school music room when he and Kelsi were in the process of creating what would be dubbed as the greatest musical the school ever produced till that day. It was such a wonderful time. The time of creation when they were not Ryan Evans, the pushed around twin, and Kelsi Neilson, who everybody walked over, but the choreographer and composer, who managed to create something extraordinary from nothing.

At the end of the number, Ryan asks Kelsi to the prom. And that was another memory Ryan was very fond of. Because, technically, they didn't go to the prom. Ryan did show up at Kelsi's place at seven sharp. Missis Nielson opened the door, she looked like she had no idea what he was doing there, so Ryan informed her of him being her daughter's date for the prom. Ryan followed disbelieving Missis Nielson upstairs to Kelsi's room, where they found her soundly asleep on her desk that was covered with sheet music.

Ryan still remembered the absolutely horrified expression on Kelsi's face when her mother shook her awake to inform her that her date was there to pick her up. Kelsi was indeed a mess with puffy eyes and her curls resembling a porcupine after an all-nighter. Kelsi's mother swiftly left for the youngsters to talk things out. When Ryan asked why Kelsi wasn't ready, she only said that she thought he had been joking about going with her. _And _she did need to finish the songs and orchestrations and so on for the musicale. Ryan did feel offended by Kelsi not believing in the truth of his intentions to accompany her to the prom, but did what he could at that time – took off his suit jacket and asked what she needed help with. And so they remained up till five in the morning writing music. Kelsi's parents checked on them every hour, but they barely noticed. Ryan couldn't imagine a better prom night.

Ryan chuckled at the note written at the top of the "Prom Night" song sheet music: Only Ryan Evans can wear a three piece suit in the 21th century with nobody questioning his fashion choices and looking good in it.

After the prom, the action of "Reaching for the stars" moved to Juilliard with Ryan and Kelsi becoming two ships passing in the night that was depicted with an instrumental piece with his and her themes interchanging through the piece with being on completely different instrumental groups and registers. Until they harmonized at the moment they met again for the "Looking at the shooting star".

The next part of Kelsi's musical was also instrumental that marked the time when they inspired each other for their own individual work. The musical arrangements made Ryan think that there were no lyrics because Kelsi wanted to tell him something, but couldn't find the words or hoped that music was enough for him to understand her mind. So far, he didn't have the answers.

The first act ended with the black out signifying Ryan's fall.

The second act started in the hospital with the news of the end of Ryan's dancing career because of the injury. The next song was called "My life is over". The music was powerful, there were a lot of disjoined cords as if they were cries of pain… but there were no lyrics. Beside the song title was another note: Only you can put your pain into words. That song was followed by the days of healing and nightmares and pushing forward. As usual Kelsi wrote wonderful songs that depicted his feelings during those days, she also composed a song to represent the lullabies she sang to make him forget his pain. Then there were the fun times during cooking and then the presentation of the shoe box… That was the last song – Kelsi's wish for his life to be full of music he loved so much.

Somehow Ryan felt that the ending was wrong. That just couldn't be it. But what else could there be? Was that why Ryan asked Kelsi to stay? To see that ending? Or for this life to never end? Kelsi was always special. He felt himself around her. It was like they were resonating on the same frequency. Like he didn't know what he felt until she composed the music that expressed his feelings perfectly. Like this musical in a shoe box. When did she even find time to compose this masterpiece?

Ryan heard Kelsi returning from school and rushed to the living room, cradling the sheet music to his chest like the priceless treasure that it was. He started to express his words of gratitude and amazement, but stopped short, seeing the expression of exhaustion on Kelsi's face. But it didn't look like she was tired from classes, because she was in perfect health that morning, at least he thought so.

"Are you alright, Kels? Did something happen?" Ryan watched as his roommate dragged herself to the kitchen and poured a glass of water still not uttering a word. "Is something wrong? Your parents?"

That seemed to jerk her out of her catatonic state. "What about my parents?"

"You look like someone died."

"No, my parents are fine. I just…"

Whatever reason for Kelsi's state was, she wasn't going to give a proper explanation so Ryan decided to change to topic to the case at hand. Literary. "This musical is brilliant, Kelsi. I can't find words to thank you."

"I am not going to stay, Ryan," Ryan barely heard Kelsi whisper, since she was staring into the sink, as if its depths had all the answers.

"Why? I apologize if I did something wrong-"

"It's not you, Ryan, it's me, okay. I just can't do it. Don't ask why. This is my decision." _Still_ not looking at him.

"Alright. This is your choice. But we can still meet for tea or hang out, right?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

And that was it. That was how the ray of sunshine in the form of Kelsi Nielson disappeared from the life of Ryan Evans. But he was not a fool anymore, who was blinded by the excitement of New York and the dancers, who seemed to be the people who finally understood him and his aspirations. Not anymore. Because Kelsi was the only one, who understood his very soul, who took his crap and was not afraid to toss it back into his face. She was… as perfect as her music.

…..

Ryan was not a big believer in Fate, but when the stars seemed to align as they did, he could not ignore the circumstance that brought him the reason to visit Kelsi at her practice room once again three weeks after her abrupt departure from his flat.

He knocked at the door and stepped in unable to hold himself back, because Kelsi was playing something absolutely divine. The flow of the music was filled with sorrow and pain, that made his heart break into million pieces, but it was _so_ beautiful that he would let his heart be broken over and over just to hear that music again and again.

"Hey, Kelsi," he breathed out, straining not to disturb the echo of the final cords. "Are you okay?" he asked, when Kelsi opened her eyes, hearing his voice, and they were shining from tears. Frankly, he doubted his wasn't moist too.

"Yeah. What are you doing here, Ry?"

Ryan highly doubted the truth behind Kelsi's words, but he had no right to pressure her on the matter. "I want to talk about "Reaching for the stars"."

"What is there to talk about?"

"You wrote me a musical, Kels. I think there is a lot to talk about. But not right now."

"Then what-"

"I was looking for a job until the next semester and I got a position of an assistant in a drama program in one of those schools that specialize in art programs. I came to discuss with you the possibility of your musical being performed by their drama club."

"No," was Kelsi's instant chilly reply.

"Why not?"

"Because it was never meant to be performed. Don't you understand what it is, Ryan, or you wish so much for your story to be immortalized, to be on that stage even if you yourself can't be there?!"

Ryan was having a terrible déjà vu of Kelsi's hostility from the first time he was in this very room. At least this time, he had a general idea about her reasoning. "It is not only my story, Kelsi. It is _our _story. The story and the music that should be heard. Don't you want to hear your music from the stage? Of course, a school drama club is not Radio Hall, but this music deserves to be performed, _your _efforts deserve to be brought to live. I haven't talked to their teacher yet and if you ban the performance, I _will _comply, but… To bury such genuine masterpiece from public is a crime against composing itself."

"And you don't feel violated by such treatment at all? This piece is _personal_. It tells about _real _people."

"The names can be changed. Nobody will know it is based on a true story. I will make sure that they will respect your music by being the assisting director. Although… I would like to make some additions. Before you protest, you said that was my story, your expressed your side and now I want to add my point of view. I want this production to be me showing gratitude for everything you did for me. I asked to keep me sane, and you did. The only reason I am standing here, that I am standing at all, is your willingness to bring me back from the abyss I felt to be endless. So please, let me do this for you."

"You promise, they will not know it is about you?"

"Of course. I don't want to answer awkward questions either."

"But they _will _ask, Ryan. Copyright and so forth."

"I will say this is a work of a person, who prefers to stay anonymous. So, Kels, are you ready for your work to be performed on stage? You need to conquer this fear to survive in this industry."

"Alright. But give me your word, Ryan Evans, it won't become another Sharpay's monster."

Kelsi's glance could put the fear of God into Ryan if he had any intention to treat Kelsi's music with less respect that it deserves. "It didn't even cross my mind."

…..

The supervisor of the drama club loved the story and the music when Ryan presented it to her. Before the auditions for the leads, the work on discussing the characters and the concept started right away during the next rehearsal. Since the school specialized in arts, the drama club had a considerable number of members, half of whom were at least triple threats, being able to act, dance and sing. Picking up the leads from that mass will be rather difficult.

Ryan changed the names so Ryan became Ray and Kelsi become Kelly and Sharpay – Fabulous Francis. He also refrained from giving any exact descriptions of the characters, interested in how much the kids could decipher from the music. Ray was described as tall, fond of classical musicals, submissive to his twin sister. Kelly was a short, shy girl, who loved music more than anything else.

Ryan kept to himself during the discussion, fascinated how the kids deconstructed the music to bits and facts even he didn't see in there. After being at it for several days the character of Kelly materialized into a red head with face covered with freckles and big glasses she hid behind. Ray became a tall, lanky, slouching guy, whose back became straight the moment he came onto the stage. Ryan really liked the metaphor.

The kids also agreed that both characters had to have some eccentricities about them to differ from the general school population. Ryan wondered if the hats would come into play. They didn't. Kelly became a scarf lover – an additional layer to cover herself with. And Ray wore colorful belts. Francis did not differ much from her real counterpart – blond fashionista, who was a self-centered bitch.

Things got extremely interesting when the discussion moved to the determination of motivations and character traits.

One of the girls made the following declaration about Kelly, "She is a total doormat! She doesn't even have a proper solo!"

That was indeed a huge miss on Ryan's part. He was already putting together a song entitled "The slap", because Kelsi cut out that powerful moment from her musical for some reason. Must've wanted to spare his feelings. But then the girl said something that put all his creative process onto a screeching halt.

"I have no idea what she sees in this jerk! I mean, it's clear that she's been in love with him right from the start and he just uses her this way and that and she just allows it!"

The discussion continued bringing pros and cons of the statement, but Ryan didn't hear a word. Was it possible? Could Kelsi actually have romantic feelings for him? Was he even blinder than he thought? And a teenage girl saw it right off the bat without knowing either of them or their life experiences. Although, it _was_ all there, in the music, beautifully crafted by Kelsi for Ryan to see.

Ryan bolted from the auditorium, not caring that the discussion continued, and headed to his apartment because he found a box left behind by Kelsi and that was a good enough reason for him to meet her before the opening night. He didn't look into the box out of respect for Kelsi's privacy, but it was another shoe box and when Ryan took it out the second time, he couldn't help but wonder if there was another musical in there. So… he peeked in. The box was filled with scraps of note and sheet paper. A mountain of unfinished lyrics and music. Ryan picked up one of the scraps and read:

_He looks at me_

_And doesn't see_

_He doesn't see_

_The woman in me_

The other fragments were on the same topic, some written in shaky handwriting as if the author wanted to get the material out of her at any cost, to get rid of the feelings it was motivated by. Ryan couldn't want to jump to conclusions even if he really, really, really wanted to. The lyrics could be about somebody else Kelsi had feelings for. But he needed to make sure or he would be making another terrible mistake. The first one – believing that the best is always somewhere else and not right in front of you.

Ryan neared the door of Kelsi's practice room with trepidation. He didn't know what he was going to say, or even if he got courage to say anything. The door was slightly open and he heard Kelsi playing one of the classics he recognized right away – a female lead solo from "Grease". Ryan didn't want to interrupt so he stood behind the door waiting for the last note. But then Kelsi joined the piano, singing the last lines in her soft, warm voice: "Hopelessly devoted to you… Hopelessly devoted to you… Oh, God, Ryan, when will I finally forget you?"

Ryan was smiling, despite hearing Kelsi crying in the sanctuary of her practice room. He could've entered to dissuade her of the need to forget him, but that won't be enough. Ryan Evans could be blamed for a lot, but nobody could say that he couldn't make a grand romantic gesture. Well, he had never actually had anyone to make it for before. All he needed to do was to write several songs and completely change the musical's finale. To rewrite their story for good.

…..

It was the third day of the auditions for the "Reaching for the stars". Twelve of the girls were auditioning for Kelly and eight guys – for Ray. It would've been even more kids if they were fitting the physical parameters. Red hair could be easily created with a wig, of course, but the right height was obligatory.

After the first round of auditions three guys and four girls remained and they were given the task to sing "The slap" for the female lead solo and "My life is over" for the male lead as being the most dramatic songs in the show.

Ryan remained more or less neutral through the audition process, because, frankly, he already had his eyes set on two kids, who, to this point, could be the perfect choice. But they still had to prove they had enough depth.

There was not much problem with girls, although Ryan was taken aback by how much anger and disappointment could be put into singing a single song. Kelsi went easy on him.

The boys' auditions did bring a lot of contraversion however. Two guys accompanied the singing with a variation of an angry dance, but the third didn't move at all. He performed sitting in front of a mirror with his back to the audience and at the last note he hit the mirror with his fist, leaving a spider pattern after the hit that was most definitely real.

For Ryan that performance was perfect. The pain that he heard in the guy's singing… was the same he felt after the realization his life would never be the one her always dreamed of, the same way he wanted to hurt himself, blaming himself for the accident. But others were not as thrilled. Because, in their opinion, it was too boring for the most important number in the show.

"There can't be any dancing in this number," Ryan cut through the fierce discussion between the director and other drama club advisors.

"What?!"

"He can't dance anymore, so there can't be any dance numbers for Ray in the second act."

"At ALL?!"

"Of course. The main point of the second act is for Ray to learn first to walk and then to live without dancing."

"But wouldn't it be boring?"

"It will be _real_."

The next day the final cast of the show was announced. The part was given to the boy, who was smart enough to wear protection on his knuckles while breaking school property. In appearance he was a total opposite of Ryan Evans, being a brunette, at least three inches taller and twenty pounds lighter. But he did have blue eyes and when Ryan first looked into them, he saw a piece of himself there.

The production of "Reaching for the stars" was going full throttle, but the finale was still not complete even if Ryan had been agonizing over it for a whole week. The scene was standing in front of his eyes, the lyrics echoing in his head, but something was missing, and then it came to him. The ultimate gesture – the impossible one.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: The Pattern for Both Dancers**

It was the opening night. Well, the only night, because it was an art school and not a professional theater, so there was only one show. Ryan was a bunch of nerves, all his feelings were in overdrive, because for him it was so much more than a show. His very heart was on the line.

The first huddle in Ryan's evening was over the choice of clothes. He wanted to look smart, but also casual enough, because the school was not an opera. But he couldn't wear jeans to the opening night of his _and _Kelsi's first production. And then it hit him – the blue-gray suit he wore for prom and never managed to show off. _And _Kelsi liked it on him.

It was arranged that Ryan would pick Kelsi and accompany her to the performance, where they will be just two people in the audience. Ryan knew it wasn't a date, so he didn't need to bring flowers, but he did rent a car, because his Vespa was not appropriate for the evening.

Kelsi's first words, when she opened the door to Ryan's knock, were, "Now I am having a weird sense of déjà vu."

"At least, you are awake and look…" Ryan was lost for words for… a several beats of his heart that he could hear pounding in his ears as loud as the largest drum in the orchestra. The dress was of simple design, but it looked so elegant on Kelsi's petite frame and the light blue went perfectly with his tie as if they color coordinated beforehand. "You look spectacular."

Ryan was rewarded with a cute blush that covered Kelsi's cheeks at his compliment.

"Thank you, Ryan," Kelsi muttered, looking at the floor.

"Nothing of that tonight, Kels," he said, lifting her face up by her chin. "Tonight _you_ are the star."

"But I don't want to be," Kelsi weaned, reminding him of the shy Kelsi from high school. The Kelsi he had just seen in rehearsal the day before hiding behind the music rack.

"Listen, Kelsi, your music is incredible, take credit for it. But we are getting late, let's depart," Ryan suggested, shoving his own nerves somewhere deep down, and presenting his arm as a proper gentleman should.

Kelsi blushed even harder, but took Ryan by the elbow and they proceeded to the car and to the school without any mishaps even if with a considerable amount of blushing.

Their seats were in the middle of the ground floor, the best seats, which was definitely not a coincidence. But Kelsi had no time to think about it, because the show has started. The show _she _wrote. She still couldn't wrap her head around the whole idea. But it was real. Because the curtains opened and there it was – the school hall with Shapray and Ryan, well, Francis and Ray standing in front of the board with audition announcement.

Kelsi knew what was going to happen next, so she paid more attention to the actors than to the songs and words they were saying, at least for the first few minutes, because hearing her songs sung by someone other than her was more than exhilarating. Every note was resonating within her, but she still couldn't remove her glance from the brunette, who was an embodiment of Ryan, even if he didn't even know it. His mannerisms, the roll of his eyes at Francis's ridiculous hysterics (whose hair roots were black, making her even more of a fake, but also legitimized the twins relation, since Ray had black hair), even his gait was almost an exact copy of Ryan's. How in the world? Did he know? Or was it just an instinctive impersonation? Or did Ryan choose him, because they were so similar? Although there were differences too. In hand movements, for example.

But Kelsi didn't have time to analyze Ray, because at that very moment a girl appeared from behind the piano with sheet music flying in all directions because she stumbled onto the cable. A petite redhead with large glasses. The girl looked different from her, but was _her_. The hurt on her face when Francis and Ray threw about transponding her song and pretty much ruining it, was the same one, she had at that same moment in the past.

Every scene during the high school times was another wave of nostalgia for Kelsi, bringing her back to those times and situations. She particularly liked the "Prom Night" number, because Ray and Kelly didn't only sit crammed in her small bedroom the whole night, but also created choreography for the musical trying it out then and there. If only she could dance with Ryan like that back then… The cheer happiness expressed on the stage made her jealous of her own song, of people singing and dancing to it. Was that even normal?

But the next number was on the opposite end of the spectrum. The stage became empty only for the transparent curtain, cutting the stage in half. On the left, Kelly was walking and conversing with her classmates, and on the other was Ray with his entourage and interchanging girlfriends. During the instrumental piece, Ray and Kelly's glances connected from time to time, but they didn't see each other. Kelsi couldn't find a better visual allegory for their first year in Juilliard.

And then was the first meeting with the rotating grand piano between them and of them both staying on the opposite ends of it with technically nothing preventing them to near each other from the sides. And then the music changed with instruments disappearing one after the other until only the playing piano on the stage remained. Ray was not dancing around the piano anymore, he was sitting at the piano bench with Kelly, playing a perfect duet. At the end of the number Ray left with outstretched arm as not wanting to part with his duet partner and Kelly responded in the same way.

_That _wasn't in Kelsi's score. Was it kids' interpretation? She knew that _she _felt that way, but did Ryan? But Kelsi didn't have time to think about it, since a huge crush echoed through the hall, then there was a black out and the lights came on, indicating intermission.

"So what do you think so far?" came Ryan's question, taking her out from her reverie. And did he sound nervous?

"Everybody is doing a fantastic job," Kelsi could only answer, because she had no idea what to say. She was still overwhelmed from hearing her songs from the stage, but even more from the energy cackling between Ray and Kelly. If she didn't know better, she would say they were in love, but… That wasn't possible, right?

The intermission was only fifteen minutes, so the only thing Kelsi and Ryan managed to do, was to get a glass of punch. Both stayed silent during the queue with Kelsi not knowing what to say and Ryan pulling on his tie completely destroying his perfect outfit. She found his fidgeting, for whatever reason, extremely cute. The complete opposite of Ryan she had just seen on stage, who, at the end of first act, was ready to conquer the world, to have it all, as the lyrics of the final song said.

Kelsi also listened to people around her, exchanging opinions about the just seen and heard. They were mostly the students from the school, but there was also a large amount of grownups, probably parents of the performers. And both groups _loved _it. And that warmed Kelsi's heart like nothing else.

…

The second act started in the hospital setting, that found Ray sitting on a hospital bed, his head cradled in his hands, pressed to his knees and his right leg in a supporting cast. The life changing news were not delivered by a person, but came from the speakers and remained echoing over and over again until becoming nonexistent. And then silence, followed by a bare whisper "My life is over" over and over again and then the lyrics that listed everything Ray will never have in his life, everything he ever wanted. "There will be nothing" echoed in the chorus "Nothing at all." Only then, the boy faced the audience for a mere moment, but it was enough to see tears, running down his cheeks. Tears that most definitely were real and not some stage trick, as was the scream, no, not the scream, the roar at the very end of the song as if his very soul was reaped out of him.

The spectators were dead silent. Nobody even moved their hands to clap, they were so shocked by the dramatic turn of the show and the delivery of the song that plunged them into a completely different word. And Kelsi was crying too, even if she knew perfectly well what was going to happen. She saw Ryan's desperation first hand and hearing it again with her music in which she attempted to express it and _his _lyrics that made it complete, intensifying the effect tenfold, cut her to the very core. The power of music was indeed boundless.

The silence that blanketed the hall was ripped to shreds by a resounding slap and the rapid solo from Kelly, berating Ray for him giving up and insulting the back stage people. The fury in the form of Kelly gathered a collective gasp from the audience _and _Kelsi, because it was a 180 turn from the character from the first act. Although… Wasn't it always there just hanging in the background, in the confident notes and controlled riffs?

The song ended with Kelly outstretching her hand to Ray and him grasping it as if it was his life line.

The musical continued with a whirl of nonstop song alternating back and forth from Kelly helping Ray out during the day and singing him her lullaby to his nightmares where he was trapped in a darkness unable to dance and then unable to move at all. The continuous reprises of the lyrics created the vicious circle of warped reality with no escape. Until the circle broke when Ray found himself on the piano bench beside Kelly again. Still in a cast, but smiling again.

The next scene was a humorous one. It was staged in the kitchen where Kelly was teaching Ray to cook, and even if he was ruining more food than he made into edible dishes, they still had a lot of fun. At least until Ray left the stage and Kelly's expression instantly changed into one of agony.

The moment Kelsi heard the first of line of the next song, she felt the ground opening up and swallowing her whole, because those were lyrics she shoved into the box of love songs never to see the light of day. How did Ryan… Oh, God, he knew! But why did he put that song into _their _story? He couldn't possibly want to humiliate her, because to create such a beautiful song that was the perfect representation of her unrequited love from bare scraps of disjoined lyrics and music and then just throw it in her face.. It would be just too cruel.

After the last belted note of the distraught Kelly, who couldn't find the way out of her situation and forcing a smile the moment Ray entered the stage, the scene changed to the already familiar one with Ray and Kelly sitting together at the piano and Kelly composing another song.

"So what are you writing this time, Kel?"

"We were given an assignment to write a love ballad."

"Love, eh? So where do you drive your inspiration from?"

"There is a really sweet couple in our class. They are so much in love… A look at them and the music just comes to me."

"About others again, Kel? When will you finally let yourself write your own love song?"

"Wha?" Kelly breathed out in confusion as well as her counterpart in the audience did exactly the same, but could only wait with baited breath for what will happen next.

"It is time for your own love song, Kelly, _our _song," Ray said, standing up from the bench and presenting his hand for Kelly to follow him and the moment her hand is in his, Ray pulls her up and swirls her around and then again and again until they a waltzing across the stage with the sets disappearing one by one to give them the whole stage to have the dance they were heading to since high school.

"But he can't dance," Kelsi breathed out, unable to contain her confusion. Was that dance just a plot device to have a good ending for the musical? Because it couldn't be real. It was just a show… But then why?..

"For _her_, he can do anything," Ryan whispered into her ear, making Kelsi shiver from head to toe.

The dance came to a close with only the embracing couple bathed in the light of the projector with the stage being completely dark.

"I was reaching for the stars, wanting it all, but without you, Kelly, I have nothing and will have nothing. _You _are my everything. _You _are my guiding star. Will you share your piano bench with me? For ever?"

"I will. Till the end of this song and the start of the next. For ever."

The lights went out and the hall erupted in the deafening applause. Everybody was standing up, cheering and hurting their hands from clapping so hard. Everybody, except for Kelsi, who wouldn't be able to move even if the fire alarm blazed through the building.

WHAT WAS THAT?! Those perfect words, she wanted to hear for years. How? _Why_?

But before Kelsi could gather her wits the ovation changed to the demanding choir of "Author! Author! Author! Author!"

"That's your cue, Kels."

"But, but, but, you said-"

"Look around, Kelsi, they _loved _it. You deserve to be seen, to be loved. I will be there every step of the way."

Before Kelsi could understand if Ryan's words had any other meaning besides her right for the limelight, she found herself being led down the aisle and onto the stage. The roar from the audience grew three fold in volume to express their gratitude to the author. Kelsi became lost in the magnitude of emotion covering her in waves. And her music was the reason for all those emotions. Her music made people happy. She would forever remember this moment as the best in her life. And it nearly didn't happen, but Ryan pushed her out of her shell. He and his music.

"Encore! Encore! Encore! Encore!"

"Shouldn't we leave?" Kelsi whispered when the first cords for the last dance number were struck by the orchestra.

"We opened our book on the stage so there is no other place where we should turn another page. Just follow my lead."

Kelsi had no other choice, but to comply, since Ryan's hands were already pulling her into another waltz turn. She didn't think about how right from the start they stopped on the stage to be exactly opposite the show leads, so when they started moving they mirrored their movements perfectly, crossing in the middle of the stage, precisely when the males lifted their partners over their heads in a 180 turn. No, she relished the feeling of being in Ryan's arms again and most probably for the last time. Just for this dance, she allowed herself to drown in his baby blues that were shining with warmth she hadn't seen there before.

Another roar of applause broke Kelsi out of her trance. The dance was over. But Ryan was still holding her hands.

"We will make our rounds and then we will have the talk that is long overdue," he said softly to Kelsi, who was still in a semi-shocked state, which upgraded to completely petrified when Ryan kissed the back of her hand before releasing her, but then grabbing onto her waist once again, so Kelsi wouldn't end on the floor after all her senses seemingly leaving her.

"Are you alright, dear?" asked a middle-aged woman, who appeared beside them, practically out of nowhere.

"She is just a bit overwhelmed by… everything, Missis Goldenstone."

"Well, this is understandable. I am the head of the drama club and the main director. It is a great pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Composer. Ryan kept it all hush-hush about the author, frankly, I thought, the score was his and he just didn't want the publicity until he knew what the reception would be. So, are you ready to meet the cast? Because they are _dying _to meet _you_."

"What in the world is going on, Ry?" Kelsi finally managed to get out of her.

"You are an overnight sensation, Kels."

"I am, because _you_ decided to turn the whole show into a love story. And _everybody _is a sucker for a love story."

"I stayed true to every note and word your wrote. And all of them spoke of true feelings. All _my _songs are the same. I didn't turn it into anything that wasn't there before. Every word of Ray's is _my _word."

"But that means-"

"Later, Kels. The cast are waiting for you."

Kelsi had no choice by to follow Ryan back stage, where the cast party was already in full swing. The moment they entered, another tornado of applause made Kelsi's ears ring. In a second, she was surrounded by people from the orchestra, technicians and everybody else, who thanked her again and again for the wonderful score and said what an honor it was to participate in the project etc etc etc etc. _Now _Kelsi was definitely feeling overwhelmed. Thankfully, Ryan managed to drag her out of the crowd of people and to a relatively empty spot near the refreshments to which she generously helped herself to so she could out her trembling under control.

"Is it always like this?" she croaked, her throat still raw from answering a million questions from the production crew and pretty much everybody else.

"Well, it is better than be ostracized after pouring your soul into a flop."

"Yeah, but- Are _you _okay?!"

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"But all that dancing! What were you thinking? Won't you get hurt again?"

"I can't dance eight shows a week, but I am most definitely capable of a couple of tours of waltz. Especially with a worthy partner."

"Now _that _clears up a lot of things," came the interruption of their momentary solace in the face of two teenagers.

The girl was a petite, cute blond and the boy was a lanky brunette wearing denim. Kelsi was reassured once again about the power of theater, because there was no mistake that former Kelly and Ray were standing in front of her, but without make up and in their every day clothes they looked nothing like them.

"Let me introduce Sara and Chris," Ryan diplomatically escaped the addressing of Chris's previous statement. "This is Kelsi, the author of the score."

"You did a wonderful job, guys. I am certain you future in the theater is a sure thing," Kelsi thanked the teenagers, who managed to bring her music to life. Hers and Ryan's music. Hers and Ryan's lives.

"You should've changed the names better, you know. Anyone with half a brain can figure it out."

"Excuse me?" Ryan was the only one, who seemed to have the situation under some semblance of control, exhibiting a more or less decent poker face. Kelsi just tried not to look at the inquisitive youth, because she was sure the truth was written _all _over her face.

"Okay, we'll drop it. So… what about next year?"

"What about it?"

"Do you already have something cooking, Miss Composer? Something with lots of action and dancing! High School Rock meets West Side Story!"

Kelsi couldn't help, but be swept by the youngsters' enthusiasm. "It is my graduation year, but I will think about it. Can you tell me something?"

"Of course," Sara answered for both of them. It seemed she had the authority to do so.

"Was it hard- Did you draw on your personal experiences to act like that or-"

"Assuming you are telling us that we were good at it?"

"Of course, you two were perfect beyond words."

"Well, Miss Kelsi, of course it was hard to get all that negative stuff down pat," Sara went first, " I talked to my parents and relatives to get their perspective, but the other half was not that hard since we've been together for seventeen months now, so…"

"But there was no indication during rehearsals that you were dating!"

"Well, Ryan, we try to keep a proper atmosphere at the club. Separate personal and professional, you know," Chris finished his girlfriend's explanation.

The young couple departed after that with Chris's arm resting casually on the small of Sara's back. Anyone with eyes could see that they looked at each other the same way they had on stage just an hour before.

"So you want to mingle or-"

"No, Ryan, I want the truth. Now."

"Let me get the car."

…

The drive to Ryan's apartment was spent in silence. Kelsi was thinking up all possible scenarios how the evening was going to end, how she _wanted _it to end, but still couldn't believe it was possible. She stole glances at Ryan from time to time, but he was concentrating on the road.

Ryan unlocked the door and Kelsi was enveloped with the familiar smells. She took off her coat and hang it onto her usual hook and took her usual seat at the piano bench, but she wasn't facing the keyboard, but her host, who dropped onto the chair opposite her (probably out of habit, since the sofa _was_ completely free at the moment) and stayed silent.

"Ryan?"

"Oh, God, I am rubbish at this."

"At what?"

"I thought I had this whole speech prepared… And now I can't remember a single word."

"Maybe you can start with the finale? Why did you write it this way?"

"Because it is the truth! Because it is how I feel about you!" Ryan blurted out exasperated, pacing from one corner of the small room to the other.

"Are you sure, it isn't some co-dependency thing? Or a fantasy in your head after everything we've been through?"

"God, woman, I am telling you, I love you and you are psychoanalyzing me?!"

Kelsi's loud gasp indicated that message had finally gotten to her.

"Are you completely sure?" Or maybe not.

"You are talking as if it is a recent development."

"Isn't it, Ryan? Aren't you clinging to me only because there is nobody else?"

"Of course not! Why don't you understand?"

"Then make me understand, Ryan. _Talk _to me. I need to know that this… us is real, that it isn't just a song that will end after a better one is written."

Ryan paced the room a couple of times and then flopped down onto the carpet with a strange declaration, "I've never considered songs' authors important. I thought… that it is the performer who shapes the final interpretation of the song or dance and the authors just provide general guidance. This opinion persisted till you appeared at Lava Springs. Till I personally saw you create songs that brought happiness to people who sung and listened to them. And it was the first time, I wanted to be a part of that. Of the world without pose.

"I felt we had a connection. I felt as you were the sister I always wanted, but never had. A kind girl, who understands and supports my ideas. The complete opposite of Sharpay."

"A _sister_?"

"Yeah… And then that dance number happened. I was amazed how fast you got the choreography. But during the dress rehearsal… You weren't wearing glasses… Do you know that you are actually the first girl I danced with?"

"But-"

"Sharpay is my sister, she doesn't count. You looked so beautiful in that dress and with hair and make-up… You looked like a completely different person. And when I held you in my arms… I am not made from stone. I blamed a momentary rush of teenage hormones. I thought, _hoped, _it wasn't you personally, but just a natural reaction to touching a beautiful girl."

"But then why did you ask to spend more time with me right after the rehearsal?"

"I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't control myself at all. The next morning, when I saw you without the makeup etc, I turned around and ran, because it was still there. Because even with glasses and curls every which way and baggy clothes I found you irresistible. And I was _mortified_. You were like a little sister to all the guys, myself included. To have such thoughts about you… I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself. But I couldn't help myself. Your music bewitched me. _You _bewitched me with freedom to be able to create whatever I wanted.

"I admit that when I got to Juilliard, I avoided you on purpose. The very idea that at the moment I was finally free from Sharpay, that the whole world was at my fingertips... It was exhilarating. I didn't need you anymore to be, who I wanted to be. I could do what I wanted. By myself. And I did. Nothing illegal, believe me, but I had _fun_, I was appreciated for _my _talents, I felt like the king of New York.

"And then I heard "Looking at the shooting star" and my whole carefully constructed illusion collapsed and the gray prison remained. I instantly knew it was your music, because it was real, raw and I felt physical pain only from thinking that you were feeling the same way. Because, in my understanding, you just couldn't. You were supposed to be this happiness personified for others to bath in the rays of your music. But you weren't anymore. You became strong, independent… powerful. I couldn't get enough of you, of your strength that came from this inexhaustible source inside you that filled up your music.

"Believe me, I heard a lot of powerful, emotional composers and those dancing girls… They work like crazy. And yet… you still pulled me like a moth to the flame. I knew that this addiction was even worse than the one before, so I told myself that I will cut all ties after graduation, but then… _that _happened. You were the only one, who actually came to visit. Only a handful of people sent concerned texts, but nobody came in person or promised to provide help. Except you. I was a total jerk to you, but you still stayed by my side. At some point, I thought you were some kind angel, because no ordinary woman could go through the Hell I was putting you through and come out unscathed.

"When you collapsed, I couldn't forgive myself since I was obviously the reason. And even after all that you didn't abandon me, even if any sane person would in a heartbeat. Deep in my brain I acknowledged that you would leave sooner or later, but I shoved the mere idea even deeper down. Your single smile could get me through the day, your laugh was enough for me to forget that my future was a big black hole, your music made me forget I would never dance again. Because my very being was dancing for as long as you were beside me.

"I didn't want you to leave, but I had to let you go, because you deserved a better life. I played the score of your musical every day to better understand it, understand you, who as it turned out, figured me out completely, because the music doesn't lie. I've never told you this, but one of my nightmares was about you abandoning me. For some reason, the nightmare about you leaving me terrified me much more than about being abandoned by everybody else.

"I started looking for work and while I was walking through Central Park, I saw a couple our age cuddling on a bench and whispering about something that made them laugh. And it was like I felt into the orchestra pit again. I was blind to the most obvious and precious thing in the world. Nothing that I felt toward you was wrong or twisted in any way. You were a beautiful, passionate, talented, kindhearted girl, who turned into a gorgeous woman, who can create masterpieces that resonate with everybody's hearts, whose own heart has the capacity to care even about someone like me and who can cook a really mean chilly. And if those basketball knuckleheads did not see it and only treated you like little sister, it is their loss, because you were much more than that even back then. And if, well, I _was_ a complete idiot and didn't see that your feelings ran much deeper than friendship, I am _so _sorry for making you suffer. That box was full of so many cries of pain, jealousy and despair. Why haven't you say anything, give absolutely no signs?"

Kelsi was floored by Ryan's confession as much by the length of it as by the longevity of his feelings, but she had to start from somewhere. "Because you are Ryan Evans and you would never ask me out."

"Why in the world not? I asked you to prom, didn't I?"

"And I thought it was a joke that time too. You are you and I am pretty much a nobody. And maybe you find me attractive now, but comparing to all the girls you dated previously, I am a… a… a porcupine!"

"Come!"

Before Kelsi understood what was happening, Ryan pulled her up, dragged her into the hall and put her in front of the full length mirror.

"Look at yourself, Kelsi. How could you even think of yourself as unattractive or not beautiful enough? Those gorgeous curls I could play all day long with. These long thin fingers that I am jealous of every time I see them caress the piano keys, dreaming that one day they will caress me the same way. Yes, you are short, but two inch heels are more than enough so you could be high enough for me to kiss that slender neck of yours. And your eyes… They are indescribable. The constantly changing color full of mystery... And your waist is just the right size to hold onto while dancing-"

"Dance with me, Ryan."

Their eyes met in the mirror and everything was said in that single glance. He didn't mention the absence of music, he just swirled her around and pressed her closer. During the next turn they were already in the small living room. Not that size could be a hindrance to such dancer as Ryan Evans, but even he couldn't keep himself centered, when Kelsi purposefully pushed him onto the piano bench and followed right after straddling him. Ryan hit the keys with his back eliciting a cacophony of sounds, but neither cared about anything else by each other.

"And what if I want to share more than just a piano bench with you, Ryan Evans?"

"Anything," the young man rasped out, his lips somewhere near her clavicle and his large hands caressing whatever place he could reach, but with each touch his desire only flared up more.

"Forever?"

"Till death does us part."

"Are you proposing?" Kelsi joked, giggling since Ryan found one of her ticklish spots on her side.

"Yes."

"Are you _crazy_?" This time Kelsi had to take matters into her own hands and so she pulled Ryan's head away from her décolleté no matter how pleasant his ministrations felt.

"I am crazy for you, Kels. I will never need any other woman in my life. You _are _my everything."

"We'll talk about it later. Now show me, how much you love me."

"With immense pleasure."


	4. Epilogue

**Epilogue: Dancers in the Mirror**

The celebration of the newborn addition to the Evans family was planned with a proper posh and was scheduled for Christmas break so various guests from all parts of the country could attend. Because how else could Sharpay show off her precious little treasure? Particularly since she _was_ the first from all her classmates to become a mother.

The Evans manor was decorated appropriately for the occasion. The Christmas decorations were _all _over the house with pink as dominating color because how else could it be? And overpinking of the house was most definitely an understatement. Or at least that was Troy and Gabriella's reaction, after they parked in front of the house, barely finding an empty spot in a long row of cars, and entered the lavish lobby already full to the brim with a rather colorful crowd of young people and older couples, who had millionaires written all over their suits and diamonds.

Troy and Gabriella started moving through the crowd to find their hosts and the reason for the elaborate baby shower. They started looking for a pink suit, because that was the only possible way to find Sharpay in that crowd. The succeeded only after half an hour since Sharpay was _not _wearing pink that evening (the shock of the year!), but she was standing near a pink cradle surrounded by bunches of flowers – dozens of pink roses. _That_ was quite difficult to miss.

Troy and Gabriella extended their greetings and gifts to the proud parents of "cute, little muffin", because Estella's skin was the same color as the blueberry muffin Zeke had finally conquered her with. They were making some small talk, when a steady hum of the room was interrupted by a female squeal.

_Everybody _turned around to see what caused the commotion, which happened to be caused by a young woman being spun around by a blond man, both completely unaware of the people around them.

"I love my brother, but they have _no _shame," Sharpay deadpanned, watching the couple.

"Is that little Kelsi Nielsen?!" Troy gasped, barely recognizing the girl that he remembered from high school. The woman was positively glowing!

"Yes, they got together during Ryan's… health issues. But seriously, I at least expected my own brother to have some class. I caught them making out in the hall, so I coughed to get their attention, no reaction at all, I coughed again, but they were still at it, as if they were not in a public space! Can you imagine?!"

"Frankly? No, I can't, Sharpay, not that I want to… But they look so happy… So in love…"

"Deliriously so," Sharpay muttered, busing herself with covering her baby daughter with a blanket.

"Are you okay, Sharpay?" Gabriella asked, sensing something was amiss. "Are you and Zeke okay?"

"Of course, why shouldn't we be?" the young mother snapped with fury in her eyes.

"Because you seem to be jealous of your brother's happiness," Troy supported his girlfriend.

"Of course not! He is my brother, for God's sake! And, yes, I thought he would end up with someone like… I don't even know! I never imagined him with a family. Well, I didn't imagine myself either, and look at this little muffin here," Sharpay coed, tickling the baby's tummy. "It's just… She was there for him, when I wasn't. It was _her_, who was beside him, when his dancing career was over. And I will never forgive myself for that. But I didn't have the strength, and not because I was pregnant at the time. I trust you not to tell anybody else, but I would've never been successful in musical theater in high school if it wasn't for Ryan. And not because of his choreography, but because of his support. I always knew he would be beside me, even if I pushed him around and pretty much neglected his own talents. He would be, just because he is that kind of a person. But _I _wasn't strong enough to do the same, because I didn't want to see what would happen to Ryan when his dream was snatched away. I didn't want to face what could await me under the same circumstances. I can't look at them, because whenever I do… This wave of shame makes me _sick_. Kelsi loved Ry enough to guide him through Hell, and his own _twin sister _wasn't even there! And then they come here and present Estella with a lullaby that they wrote together – their recording singing it and sheet music so I could sing to her herself. After all I've not done…"

"So it's serious?" Gabriella only managed to say, shocked to the core by Sharpay's personal revelations, but even more so by the blonde's willingness to share with _them._

"Kelsi started taking dancing lessons, mostly Argentinean tango and Ryan announced to us yesterday, that even if he ever choreographs, Kelsi was the only one, he would be dancing with. So yes, it is as serious as it can get. They are each other's muses. For art, for love, for life. And I _am _happy for them. It's just… they could be a bit more modest about it. At least, when they are out in society. Although… Ryan has never been one for conventions. It makes him, who he is."

Troy and Gabriella followed Sharpay's wishful glance towards the couple, who found themselves behind the grand piano and were tinkering something there, completely unaware of people around them. It was funny how with all the high school drama neither Troy and Gabriella nor their friends noticed the blossoming love right under their noses. Ryan and Kelsi just looked so _right _together, like the belonged behind that behind the piano and moreover, belonged with each other.

…..

The baby shower ended at a rather late hour despite the guest of honor being brought into her pink cradle upstairs at the required time. Estella did not need her beauty sleep, being the most gorgeous baby there was, but she did need her growing sleep.

Ryan and Kelsi were staying through the holidays, but Sharpay still headed to their room, well, technically Ryan's old room (Sharpay was amazed at her parents' liberal mind set about the issue. Her and Zeke most definitely didn't receive such treatment in the early stages of their relationship), because she needed to tell them something. Well, yes, she wanted to unburden herself, which made it a rather selfish act, but… Whatever.

Upon knocking onto Ryan's door (Sharpay was knocking on her own twin's door! Unprecedented! She always just barged in whenever she wanted, wherever he was decent or not, because she gave herself the right to do so, because she always considered Ryan just a bit above her decorative dog. And that's why she was standing behind his door in the first place…), Sharpay was faced with her younger twin brother dressed for sleep in pajama bottoms and unfastened dressing gown thrown onto bare shoulders. She was shocked to find herself feeling embarrassed by the display of nudity. Sharpay had never shared her thoughts with her dear brother, but she did suspect him being gay at some point, since he didn't show any interest in girls during high school and was much closer to their mother than father. Ryan was more or less a carbon of his twin sister, just male. And at that time, Sharpay didn't much care, well, she didn't much care about anything else by herself. The mere thought that Ryan would pass his sister for some other girl or boy was utterly ridiculous!

But right now, Ryan seemed to be a completely different man, confident in his body and sexuality, because he had a woman to appreciate both. And Sharpay _was _happy for him, but it was so surreal still… To have a completely different life from they envisioned for each other. Having it all, ha?

"I still think the song sounds better in the previous key," Ryan said over his shoulder to the other occupant of the room. "Oh, Shar, what are you doing here?" he asked, turning to the unexpected visitor.

"I wanted to talk."

"Now?"

Sharpay bristled at Ryan's absentminded response; his mind was clearly somewhere else. But then rained herself in. It was almost midnight, he had all the right to toss her out, sister or not.

"I want to talk about "Reaching for the stars". I watched the video you sent me."

_That _got Ryan's attention. "Okay. But before you complain about Francis-"

"I am not going to."

Ryan was definitely surprised by the statement. "Fine… Come in then."

Sharpay stepped into the familiar room, she hadn't visited in almost four years since its owner did not occupy it anymore. The wave of nostalgia hit her right at the threshold, since nothing about the room had changed. Although, there were changes too, the most important one – a young woman, sitting cross legged on the piano bench. Sharpay balked at the cotton nightwear Kelsi was wearing, but reserved her opinion for herself. The young composer didn't react to Sharpay's appearance in the room either, typing something on her netbook with triple ferocity.

"So what do you think of the show, Shar? I consider it Kelsi's masterpiece. One of many, to be sure."

"The best songs are written by you, so don't understate your part in it," came from Kelsi, whose typing speed didn't waver even for a bit.

"Co-written, Kels. Your original work was the inspiration-"

"I came to apologize!" Sharpay blurted out, seeing as the debate between young lovers, who were yet again oblivious to her presence (no matter how mellow Sharpay had gotten, she wasn't _that _soft around the edges) were not going to stop anytime soon.

"For what, pray tell?"

"I was not about to complain about Francis, because she is completely accurate. And when I saw how she treated Ray and Kelly, I realized how atrociously I treated both of you. And I am sorry. And I am also sorry, for not being there for you, Ryan. After seeing in the show a tiny piece of what you had to go through _and _then see it in rehearsal time and time again… I don't know how you survived it all."

"I had Kelsi with me." Ryan sat down onto the piano bench next to his girlfriend, who threw him a warm smile that made Sharpay feel like an intruder. They _were _too cute for words. "If I was taken home for recovery, I could've found how foolishly blind I've been much later, making Kelsi suffer that much longer. Though I believe, that we would've found each other eventually. And yes, it was difficult at the start of the rehearsals, but at same point I managed to objectify everything. Yes, those events happened to me, but they were my past and they did not rule my life anymore. Also I realized what my future should be, so the show was a healing experience in a way. That's why you wrote me that musical, didn't you, Kels?"

Sharpay preferred to escape the scene before her brother's girlfriend's answer, because… things definitely were heating up in there. Sharpay never pictured a girl like Kelsi Nielsen as her brother's partner for life. She didn't picture them _having _partners for life at such young age, because her previous vision of her future shone in golden letters on Broadway. At least. Fate messed up the cards they thought they held, but they were still lucky to get it all.

….

Ryan and Kelsi continued to create and produce music and songs after graduation from Julliard some separate and some together, some with better commercial success than others. They got married at twenty six, but Kelsi didn't change her name, not to create confusion in professional circles. Ryan did choreograph, but mostly for fun and for amateur companies, but he was satisfied with that.

When they were in their late forties, one of Kelsi's musicals reached Broadway. In promotional interview they were asked, what they considered their greatest creation. The unison answer was that it was always a tie between their son and daughter.


End file.
